The Fourth Agreement: Always Do Your Best
The Fourth Agreement: Always Do Your Best
My favorite agreement from The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz is the fourth agreement, “Always do your best.” That’s because it acknowledges the human experience of life and the range of emotions we may experience.
As a coach who helps creative entrepreneurs feel better and practice their own alignment, The Four Agreements is one of my favorite books of all time. I love that the agreements are easy to apply and, with practice, they help you sync into that feeling of alignment.
In this article, I’ll explain my interpretation of “always do your best” as well as three ways to practice it in your everyday life.
What does it mean to always do your best?
Here’s what doing your best isn’t: It’s not depleting yourself or spending more time on something than feels right. It’s not sacrificing your boundaries. It’s not going to be the same every day, or even from hour to hour.
Self-acceptance is at the heart of mastering the four agreements—and being ok with the fact that your best may look different every day.
The fourth agreement acknowledges our humanness and that living the other agreements goes against what most of society is going to teach us. And, of course, there’ll be plenty of days where we aren’t impeccable with our word, we take things personally and we make assumptions. And you know what? That’s ok. That’s just another part of being alive in this world.
Picking yourself up, renewing your focus & determination to live a life that’s true to who you are, practicing again and again: That’s what the fourth agreement is all about.
How do you know you’ve done your best?
Doing your best comes down to being gentle with yourself and understanding that you can’t get it wrong. It’s trusting yourself in the now and knowing that every moment is a chance to make a new choice or try to reach for a new thought.
Some days doing your best may simply mean breathing. Just putting one foot in front of the other. Other days you might feel a sense of contentment and peace in knowing you’ve done your best. Giving yourself permission to say “I did my best today,” without judgement, is one of the kindest things you can do for yourself.
Ruiz says, “Say no when you want to say no, and yes when you want to say yes. You have the right to be you. You can only be you when you do your best… You don’t need knowledge or great philosophical concepts. You don’t need the acceptance of others. You express your own divinity by being alive and by loving yourself and others.”
By giving ourselves the freedom to do our best, whatever that looks like, it also gives the people in our life the freedom to do the same. It’s a ripple effect.
Looking to learn more about tapping into your inner guide? I created a free mini-course called Journaling Into Alignment to help you settle your mind & connect with your authentic self.
Here are 3 ways to practice doing your best:
1. Recognize when you’re caught in self-judgment. Maybe you feel like you didn’t do your best today. Allow yourself to recognize those thoughts rather than resist them. It’s ok to feel frustrated as you are practicing. Your feelings are your guide and frustration is a signal that you are thinking a different way than your higher self or source is thinking about the same thing. One tool I talk about in my Journaling Into Alignment course is trying on better-feeling thoughts. For example, “I’m frustrated with myself for not doing my best ” could transform into “I’m becoming aware of when I’m not doing my best and that’s amazing. I’m committed to keep practicing to do my best as I go” Which thought feels better? That’s where you want to shift the way you speak to yourself and about yourself.
2. Be mindful of “all or nothing” thinking. So you had a day where you did the opposite of the four agreements? Remind yourself that there’s something to learn from these human moments. One of my favorite mantras is “Be easy about it.” When you have a super off day, be easy about it. Be gentle with yourself. Watch a show that makes you laugh. Try a new ice cream flavor. Take an extra-long walk. Go to sleep and remind yourself there is always another moment and another day to start again. It’s also important to think about moments as passing. If you have a bad moment, the lingering in it keeps it going. But if you can let it “pass” and recognize you can take a deep breath and start shifting your energy into the present where it’s always a fresh start, you can begin to relax and feel better.
3. When we feel better, it’s easier to do better. If we put pressure on ourselves to feel amazing all the time, we start to work against ourselves. Remember one of my favorite mantras: Be easy about it. Feeling better is a process and it can take a little time to gently move up the vibrational scale. Let’s say you're angry and you’re beating yourself up for feeling that. Instead, try gently moving from angry to disappointed by finding a thought that helps you move there. Even just saying “I’m disappointed” instead of “I’m angry” can give you some relief inside. Be gentle as you move and find better feeling thoughts. It’s hard to move from angry to hopeful but moving from angry to disappointed is just a few new thoughts that can bring you immense relief and help you do better.
4. Take care of your body and mind. A part of feeling better is nourishing your body and mind. Move your body, eat nourishing foods. Get enough rest for yourself. Hydrate. Surround yourself with people who light you up as much as you can. There are really simple ways that you can feel good right at this moment. Making the decision to make taking care of your body and mind a priority is a part of doing your best.
P.S. For a summary and deeper understanding of each of the four agreements along with tips on how to practice them, check out these posts on the first agreement, the second agreement, and the third agreement.
I believe the most important relationship to nurture is the one you have with yourself. If you found yourself here, it’s likely you do too.
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