How to use Deliberate Thinking to Feel Better Now
I always take a little time at the end of the year to reflect on my experiences and highlight parts that felt really good. It helps remind me that every year is an abundant one, if I choose to focus on it in that way. Of course, each year is filled with a variety of highs and lows, but it's ultimately up to me which one’s I’d like to highlight in depth. It’s up to me to reflect on how the year felt.
Deliberate thinking is choosing what I want to think about
If you’d like to use deliberate thinking to feel better now, then here are some of the principles that help what that.
Deliberate thinking is choosing what and where you want to put your focus on
Deliberate thinking is asking yourself how you’d like to feel today and then finding thoughts that match that feeling
Deliberate thinking is choosing to think about things in a kinder, more loving way
It's ultimately up to you to continuously highlight and nurture thoughts and experiences that feel good to you.
This practice of highlighting what feels good in your life (and intentionally diffusing things that feel bad), can help change the way you feel about your life in general AND puts you in a vibrational place to receive MORE feeling good experiences with ease.
By deliberately focusing on what feels good and thinking kinder thoughts about situations, you will soon find you are deliberately feeling better and better. From this place, you will deliberately create more feel good experiences!
The only way to KNOW this formula is true is to play the DELIBERATE THINKING game yourself.
How do I play the deliberate thinking game?
Infuse what feels good in your life by focusing on those things more.
Diffuse what doesn’t feel good in your life by focusing on it less, changing the subject, or finding a thought that feels better in regards to what you’re focusing on.
But what if there is something horrible going on that I just can’t take my attention/thoughts off of?
If you notice something your life that doesn’t feel good and it feels hard to take your attention off of that particular thing here are some tips
1) Soothe the thought/problem by gently questioning
is there another way to think about this?
Is this actually true for or something you were told was true and you accepted it because you trusted the person?
What would feel better to think?
What would your life be like if you didn’t have this thought?
What would your life be like if you KNEW this thought wasn't true?
Do you know someone who believes the opposite of this thought?
Is it possible that either way of thinking (this way or the opposite way of it), may or may not be true and it's a personal choice to continue to think and believe it this way?
2) Stay off the subject of it
distract yourself with a movie, book, game, etc
If someone brings up the subject, kindly change the subject
Don’t add more to the subject by bringing it up, telling more people about it, and constantly trying to solve it in your mind
3) Move some of the INTERNAL ENERGY REGARDING THE SUBJECT
One practice of diffusing a subject is to move your body so that you can move the energy you’re holding inside out of your body. You can try:
Running
walking briskly
cleaning your house
dancing
laughing
jumping
4) Surrender it - give it up to God/The Universe/ Someone else- ask for help!
This is sometimes the only option if the momentum of whatever is going wrong in your life has built momentum into a tipping point where it becomes just too big to handle yourself. Sometimes we need to say, “I need help here.” or “I need to surrender this over.” This is a very wonderful way to remove some of the “weight” of things that feel heavy.
The first step to begin deliberate thinking in order to feel better is awareness.
Awareness of how your feeling (checking in with yourself), can help you understand the thoughts that are keeping you feeling this way. It can help uncover your habitual ways of thinking that are either IN or OUT of alignment with the life you want to create for yourself. From there, you can choose more deliberately if you want to keep those thoughts or investigate if new ones would feel better to think.
Take time alone to bring your attention to your mind and thoughts. (I personally recommend journaling your thoughts as having them down on paper is an easy way to look at them and reflect on them).
Allow yourself to notice your thoughts/words on paper without trying to stop or judge yourself for having the thoughts (the thoughts are not you, it's okay you are thinking them).
Imagine yourself separate from the thoughts. Imagine yourself viewing them from an aerial view, not a part of them. Or imagine the thoughts coming from an imaginary character other than you
When you notice a thought that doesn't feel good, gently question:
is there another way to think about this?
Is this actually true for or something you were told was true and you accepted it because you trusted the person?
What would feel better to think?
What would your life be like if you didn’t have this thought?
What would your life be like if you KNEW this thought wasn't true?
Do you know someone who believes the opposite of this thought?
Is it possible that either way of thinking (this way or the opposite way of it), may or may not be true and it's a personal choice to continue to think and believe it this way?
Try to notice how you feel as you answer these questions. Your inner guidance will give you a feeling of relief when you touch on something that is more true for you that the previous thought you were thinking.
TIP: If it feels overwhelming to question your thoughts and you don't feel like you're getting anywhere, I recommend sleeping, hydrating, moving your body, and/or taking your mind of the thought completely and thinking about something else for a while.
Awareness is the first step of separating yourself from the thoughts you are having and investigating if their might be another way of thinking about something that feels more true to you.
The real magic begins when you begin to deliberately choose and nurture thoughts that feel good to think.
From these new thoughts you'll make new decisions and those new decisions will create new results in your life. You'll soon start to feel in the driver seat of your life following your own thoughts and ideas. Listening to your own advice. Creating your own rules.
Living this way doesn’t mean those old-out-of-alignment thoughts don’t pop up in your life or head anymore, but with more practice it will eventually give you a separation from the ones that are the most familiar in your life. You may even witness a little voice on the inside saying “that isn’t true for me," as someone else shares something that doesn't resonate with you any longer.
Are you ready to start thinking more deliberately and in alignment with what you really want for yourself?
I can help! Whether you've been feeling just a little off or experiencing a lot looping unhelpful thoughts on one particular subject, it can often feel good to talk to someone about it. You can think of a clarity call as another form of “journaling” except I am the person listening to your thoughts and noticing the patterns and habits that are keeping you feeling “not yourself. ”
My coaching packages are designed to help you align with your truest self and desires.
Want to know about my favorite alignment tool: Journaling? Are you looking for a way to connect with your intuitive self? I created a simple course called Journaling Into Alignment where I teach you how to use journaling to get into alignment with yourself. Check out the details by clicking this button
